Idiots Cubed
by Phonesy
Summary: The Empire of Disney is growing by the minute and the Kingdom of Hearts is running out of time. King Ansem and his men are preparing for the worst. The Keyblade apprentices are young, but they need any drop of help the kingdom can afford to defend home, or more particularly, the Princess of Hearts, Kairi. Protecting a close friend shouldn't be that problematic, right? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

There are loads of dirt underneath flowers

* * *

It was not a typical day and there was nothing to do in Radiant Garden.

Really.

Sure, he knew that life was great and the Gardens is filled with entertainment for old and young. His room was clean. The arcades were open, the neighbours were friendly and his family was home together today. He had plenty of nice friends and he was passing all of his courses, but there was something missing.

Video games have lost their charm after completing the ridiculous achievements. What could he do to fill in the missing space and time? Mixing his father's precious shampoo with glue was getting old, and wrapping the neighbour's motorbike in foil was now annoying. Everyone else had to finish his or her bloody summer homework. Dad was resting in the living room. The annoying sibling is in his room.

Oh.

So that was what it was.

"Voice?" a black haired boy glanced around the room.

"Vooooice?"

"Out of town again? Tch, traitor," growled the teen as his yellow eyes narrowed. Something was off. It was fa-

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDYYYYY! SAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE! The evil overlady is going to kill everyooone!"

"Sora, shut up." A great and thunderous crash echoed through the house and a muffle yelp of pain was heard. "Put some ice on that, and go clean the mess up." Grumbling, the short boy proceeded to do as he was told.

Yes. It was not a typical day in Vanitas' life. Nope. It was far too quiet.

He needed to fix that. Fast. "Oi. Sora, let's go outside."

Allow us to take this opportunity to introduce our characters. Vanitas is your typical teenage boy, or as typical one can get with a fictional life as a video game character in the realm of fanfiction. The boy is rather short for his age and has black hair and yellow eyes.

See? Nothing special. Just a normal boy.

A mentally deranged boy, but that is nothing new in the family.

Sora is his younger brother by a year or two. Like his brother he is quite normal. Unlike his brother, his mental growth seems to have been stunted when his father dropped him on his head when he was seven. Sora is quite the … imaginative boy believing that he is the hero that will save worlds and lands of all kinds. His father occasionally plays along. This does not bode well for the neighbours, especially the one across the street with spiky blond hair.

Their father is a mercenary for a particular company and that's all you need to know at this point of the story. Perhaps later in this chapter. Or the next chapter.

See? Just a normal family.

* * *

The Frost family is composed of four members. There were two children, a boy and a girl, both similar in age. The mother is a successful business woman and the father is a famed scientist.

Currently, the father, Even wished that he could not see the spiky nuisances hiding behind the fence. Their hair swayed in the breeze, similar to the odd weather doll his daughter had made. An unsettling chuckle escaped the wiry man's throat.

"Did he see us?" The shorter boy stage-whispered and shuffled uncomfortably, "He giggled after glancing in our direction. What kind of man giggles? You sure he's not a-"

As an angry hiss filled the air, the patch of black hair shook furiously and Sora's voice was muffled. The fence shook with the children's impromptu wrestling match. Even groaned, just why couldn't those boys leave him alone? "Xion?"

"Yes, Papa?"

"Do you mind grabbing the paper for me?"

"Okay," said the girl as she scrambled down the stairs. The girl took a few steps out and halted. Big blue eyes blinked several times. Big blue and yellow eyes stared back. "Vanitas, Sora, what exactly are you two doing?"

As helpful as always, Sora blurted, "Seeing if the rumours about your dad being a pedophile is true." After all, a hero ALWAYS has to help others, right?

"I know my dad is a bit… eccentric, but a pedophile?"

Vanitas buried his face in his hands wishing death upon his simple sibling as his brother continued to speak. "You never know!"

"He has a wife and two children," paper forgotten, the two neighbours listened with amused interest.

"So?"

"So it's like people saying that you are married to your stuffed bear on the basis that you are childish."

"I am? Hey, Vanitas, am I married to Teddy?" Sora's face scrunched up in concentration. He just couldn't remember. Did he marry it at the kindergarten ceremony?

Vanitas tuned his brother out and glared at the girl in front of him. "Xion, stop changing the subject," growled Vanitas. He was bored. He wanted a brawl and Xion was a hard hitter. The black haired boy could always wrestle with her when he was bored.

"Who told you that anyways? Marluxia?" The girl irritably tugged at her shorts under her little sundress. Vanitas' eyebrow rose at Xion. The tomboy that beats the living daylights out of her older brother? In a dress? Perfect, more information to add to the tiny pile of evidence against her father and his questionable hobbies. "Vanitas, answer the bloody question."

"Chocobo-head…" An incredulous stare slapped him across the face from the three people around him. Chocobo-head? The only person that resembled the statement was a certain cadet. A cadet named Cloud Strife.

"You fool!" snapped Even as he finally joined the conversation. Xion quickly agreed with her father.

"Vanitas?" The mentioned boy ignored the spluttering neighbours and turned his attention to his sibling.

"What, Sora?" The boy fidgeted under the newfound scrutiny, opening his mouth and then promptly closing it like a fish. Sora's expression twisted from confused and shock, until Vanitas lost his patience, "Spit it out."

"Why can I figure it out before you do?"

"What?" Xion was laughing. Vanitas spun his head around, and now, even Even had his creepy smile plaster across his face.

"Did Cloud say that when we were setting booby traps in his garage?" Spikey black hair bobbed up and down. "Do you think that, he might have said that just to distract us? I mean, he reaaally likes his bike."

Oh. That was just brilliant, Voice, why didn't you tell me that I was being made a fool? Why?

Even's voice cut through his daughter's laughing, "Vanitas? I think I have JUST the ploy to exact our revenge. Would you care to come in, have some tea, and listen?"

Sora's eyes widened at the statement and proceeded to run away screaming "He's a pedo!" or "I want ice cream!"

Nobody could tell.

* * *

It involved paint, more specifically, pink paint. Nice, bright Barbie paint.

And flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.

There is nothing wrong with pink paint, nor is there anything wrong with flowers. So when Aeleus saw Xion walking across the road with several pots of flowers, and a pail of paint, he didn't look twice.

Then the boys ran out hollering with paint rollers and shovels.

Sighing, the man dropped off his groceries in his house and wandered over to the three children. Sora and Xion were digging up Strife's lawn while Vanitas was tinkering with the garden hose. The brown haired boy was destroying the sod at a frightening pace while Xion was carefully planting the rows of flowers. It seemed innocent enough. Making his way around the piles of dirt Aeleus strode towards Vanitas who had just finished cleaning the wall. The black haired boy plugged in several electric heaters, angled them at the damp wall and jogged towards their neighbour.

"Ello Vanitas."

"Hello Ael. Is dad making you babysit us again?" The giant shook his head in a negative answer.

The duo stood silently as the wall slowly dried. After the fifth 'Sora, aim the dirt towards his bike, not the house!' from Xion, Vanitas finally broke and asked "So, what brings you here?"

"Curiosity."

"Oh. Well, we are helping Cloud redecorate." Vanitas pointed at the pristine and crisp white walls of the house, "and we are repainting his walls. The paint is peeling, so we decided to help." The older man chuckled and nodded. "And the color really doesn't fit his personality, so we are spicing it up a bit for him."

"Need a hand?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to help?"

"Seriously?" A bemused nod from the bigger man sent Vanitas into a grinning mess, "You are the best babysitter in the world." This was going to be amusing. Very, very amusing.

* * *

"Xion?"

"Yes, Uncle Aeleus?" The lass turned around to look at her father's co-worker, wiping her sweat off her forehead. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Where is your brother?"

"Repliku? Uh, he's kind of avoiding society at the moment. He's… balding." Aeleus stopped his paintjob and shot an amused look at her. Vanitas cackled, splattering paint over the windows.

"Why doesn't he just get his father to … fix it?"

"It's because he doesn't want 'girly' hair. Papa has to use either his, mother or my sample to regenerate his hair. But he deemed our hair too feminine for his so called manliness," snarled the child as she spitefully beheaded the flowers beside her. Facing toward her house, Xion shouted, "Considering the fact that the PANSY has even nicer hair than me, I don't quite understand why he is so concerned! Eww, I don't want to touch dirt. Or, gross! I'll get paint all over myself! "

An angry shriek of rage shot across the road, "I am not a pansy! I'm just more sensitive than you!" Vanitas only laughed harder.

As the two older males applied the finishing touches, a bicycle turned the corner. Riku halted in front of the demolition/ refurnishing team, raising his eyebrows in amusement. "Redecorating?"

Vanitas nodded in reply, "If you are looking for Sora, he's… he is…" The older sibling glanced around the yard. Aeleus was cleaning his brush and Xion was stomping on the dirt around the flowers. "He's somewhere," and promptly returned to his masterpiece.

Sighing, Riku turned to Xion and asked, "Have you seen Sora?" The girl nodded and proceeded to stick her head into a nearby pile of topsoil. Riku's bored stare immediately turned into morbid curiosity when Xion started to shout some sort of incoherent message. Sora was a bit over enthusiastic in his digging, and when he had finished mutilating Cloud's lawn he begun to create a net work of tunnels under the house. Vanitas and Aeleus connected the dots and ignored the girl's method of communication.

Riku did not have the luxury of have said information.

"Vanitas? Aeleus? Come over here."

The black haired boy ignored the panicking boy, thus Aeleus looked up and glanced at the other two children. "What?"

"Xion. She's- … I… " The muffled shouting got louder and louder as the girl start flailing, thumping her fists against the wet soil. The boy spluttered and eventually asked, "Why is she acting like Sora?"

"She isn't."

"She is burrowing into a pile of wet dirt. I'd say that is Sora-worthy."

"…She isn't burrowing."

"She's flailing like a mad goose."

"She isn't a goose."

"She's shouting into a pile of wet dirt. Xion has lost it."

"No, she hasn't."

"Will you actually answer my questions?"

"I am."

"Can you please stop screwing with me and leave the mind games for Strife?"

"Sure," shrugged the soldier and the man returned to his work. Riku stood quietly for a few more minutes.

"Now will you tell me what is going on?"

"… No."

The visiting boy viciously kicked a daisy.

* * *

After a few minutes, Aeleus walked over to the girl and nudged her, "Xion. Do you need me to get Even?"

The girl finally looked up. Smeared with mud, Xion blinked and nodded. Sighing, Aeleus moved across the street to Frost's home and rang the doorbell. Riku glanced at his company. Vanitas gave him his trademark smirk and Xion was still shouting at the mound of earth. The boy promptly followed the older man.

Vanitas made his way over to his neighbour, "So, Sora is stuck?"

"Yeah, he's somewhere by the foundation. Sora said that he ingested a gopher." Xion paused and thought for a moment, "Either that or he split his skull against the concrete. I couldn't tell. Sorry."

"Eh," Vanitas proceeded to stick his head down the same hole. "Sora?"

"-and then I put gasoline, three meters of rope, duct tape, ham and a bucketful of crickets and cockroaches into the desk. Oh, hi Van."

"On a scale of one to ten, how much help do you need to get out?"

"Uh, I like the little cave I made… but I can't reach the exit tunnel. I need someone skinny and tall. Someone like Mr. Cloud... He isn't all that tall, but who cares… Can you shove him down here so I can use him as a stepladder?"

"Fine, don't answer my question, but I like that idea. We better use it for another time, it's pointless to throw everything at the Chocobo in one go."

"Vanitas, don't you DARE leave me down here," snapped Sora.

"Xion! Sora's fine and doesn't need rescuing. We don't need to get Even, tell Aeleus." Xion promptly kicked Vanitas in the shin as Sora's irritated wails seeped through the open tunnel.

* * *

It is important for children to have good role models. In a land far, far, away in the realm of canon, certain children did not have this luxury. Role models are here for the future generation to learn about the standards for society and why should we follow them.

Or so Riku hopelessly thought.

"Have the children brainwashed you, Aeleus? I cannot fathom the fact that you assisted the children in their little scheme. It's just foolish."

"This? Coming from the man who told said children to sabotage a gossipy brat?"

"It was merely a simple suggestion."

"You supplied them with your beta paint bucket."

"A little paint wouldn't hurt the children and their daily activities. I'd say it would help the children in their artistic development."

"You gave them enough paint to drench three houses."

"And just exactly who helped the children drown the house in the eye-scarring paint? I thought you had more common sense than that. What kind of joy do you, an innocent bystander, derive from jumping into the fray like a schoolboy? It's quite ludicrous for a man of your standard and rank. What would Dilan and Braig say? No, those two fools would probably join you… What would Ansem say? Or even the little one? Your actions…"

The blond man continued to ramble as Riku looked at the silent man for help. Aeleus only shrugged in reply and interrupted his co-worker. "Even, Ienzo would film the entire process and force Strife to watch it for hours. You know that Braig has already corrupted the kid."

Even didn't reply, opting to fume at his colleagues' interesting tastes. Why can't everyone be sane?

"Mr. Frost? Ael? Uh, can we go get Sora now?"

"Right, I forgot about him…" Even turned around to retrieve some supplies, pausing only to ask the other man, "Aeleus, why can't you just use your earth magic and rescue the boy?"

"Do you want me to uproot the entire city block?"

"Point taken. Riku, come along, I'll need your help." The silver haired boy obediently followed the blond as Aeleus returned to the arguing children.

"…"

"That doesn't mean that you should abandon your brother!"

"Like you are the one to talk, Miss. 'Let's leave Repliku behind and go bowling.'"

"That's completely different. He won't die if he missed a game or two."

"And Sora won't die if we left him alone for a day or two."

"What kind of logic is that?"

"It is the logic of a sane person, Xion."

"He's your brother. With no food or water."

"And he is made out of steel. Next!"

"… Will the two of you stop bickering and finish cleaning up before Strife gets back?" Grumbling, the children turned around and returned to their duties, sweeping the dirt off the drive way and moving the gardening tools back to the Frost's.

* * *

Vanitas expected Even to bring some sort of new gizmo that would destroy Strife's home. Xion expected that her Papa would use that strange contraption that he was building in his workshop. Aeleus and Sora just hoped that Even and Riku would hurry up and distract the two children before they decided to get creative with their spare time.

Much to the children's disappointment and the victims' relief, Even left the house with a ladder. Riku was following closely with a set of flashlights. "Vanitas. Xion. Take your things back," commanded Aeleus as Even and Riku set to work.

"Vanitas, in which area of the garden is Sora in?" asked Even as the blond probed around the newly installed garden. Vanitas pointed to a random spot and stumbled after Xion with the painting tools. Dropping the ladder, Riku wandered over to the spot.

"Sora? ... Sora? " No response. "… Even, I don't think he's here anymore…"

"If that's the case, we need to- ARGH!" Riku spun around and saw a lovely hole in the ground. The older man was cursing profusely as the boy edged to the newly made manhole. "Why in Ansem's name didn't those three warn us about this?"

"Uhh… Mr. Frost? Are you alright?" The boy continued inching his way over to the opening.

"Riku, don't you dare come any closer, the soil is unstable."

Ah.

_DONK._

Too late.

A/N - Enjoy and please review. Critique, both negative and positive are greatly appreciated. English is not my first language and I would greatly appreciate any sort of assistance or friendly statements in regards to grammar. _Hopefully_, I'll be able to upload on a weekly basis. As a work of fanfiction, the context of the story does not belong to me, but as copyright laws say, I still get to keep my idea. Weird, huh?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I apologize for the slow and slightly redundant pace (honestly, I should have combined the first three chapters, but people were complaining about length), but here's a bonus update. Things should pick up by Chapter 3 and by Chapter 4, things get bloody.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Driving is an art

* * *

Being an infantry man is a difficult job. First, you are at the bottom rung of the military hierarchy. Two, your higher ranking teammates are always waiting to tease you. Three, despite the fact that you work your ass off in keeping your community safe; you are treated as the local pansy in your neighbourhood.

Life is just beautiful for Cloud Strife.

As an environmentally friendly man, Strife takes public transportation to and from work. Said public transportation is unfortunately operated by volunteers.

It is a lovely thing for the citizens of Radiant Garden to be so generous and offer their time and energy to drive the buses, but it is a terrifying thing when a driver needs to call in sick. What is even more traumatizing is when your superiors think that this is a good training exercise and hire the substitute.

"TIDUS. STOP."

"Nu'uh, Mister. If I stop here, I'll cause traffic accidents! And please sit down. It's unsafe to stand while the bus is moving at high speeds."

"And it's perfectly safe to drive into oncoming traffic, Tidus. Let me drive."

"Mister, you say that every single time you come on this bus. Look at your fellow teammates, they are perfectly fine with me driving." Strife glanced back to his fellow workmates. The rest of the men were deathly white from the young boy's definition of driving. Some were laughing nervously and the rest are whimpering like kicked moogles. And there is the local sadist, but he didn't really count. "So take a chill pill and relax, we are almost at your place. So sit down, it's alright, nobody is going to die."

The bus dodged another truck.

Of course, nobody is going to die.

It is just another day for the hardworking troops of the Kingdom of Hearts.

* * *

The wet earth shifted slightly and a quiet curse slipped through the rows of flowers. A dirty hand reached out, slapping the ground in attempts to find the folded ladder a foot away.

"Riku, are you sure you can reach the ladder?"

"Mr. Frost, I'm sure I can get it… It's just right there." Riku's arm appeared again, trying to reach the ladder-case.

"Rikuuuuuu, you are heavvvy… I don't think I can hold you up any more…"

"Sora, don't you dare drop Riku, I don't want to repeat this ordeal."

"Why can't I get the stupid ladder? I'm getting sick and tired of trying to keep Riku up, Mr. Frost. Why don't you get it?"

"I'm carrying the two of you, would you rather support the weight of an adult? Where are the other three anyways?" Even's more important question was ignored by the two boys. Typical.

"Okay, fine, but Riku is taller and stronger than me, why do I have to be stepping stool number two?"

"Shut up, Sora, it's not my fault that your arms are too short," The silver haired boy's arm reached out again. The fingers finally clasped onto the casing, tugging the metal skeleton closer to the opening in the soil.

And then Riku slipped.

"It's not my fault this time."

"Shut up, Sora," was the unanimous reply.

* * *

Well.

That was a new achievement.

The bus still is in one piece.

Aeleus, Xion and Vanitas stood clapping as the bus screeched to a halt in front of Strife's home. The owner mindlessly walked to the door and stopped in the doorway of the vehicle.

"Tidus, why are we stopping here?"

"Mr. Chocobo, you silly person, we are at your place."

"No, we aren't."

"Your house is 3409 right? Look, see that on the house? Three. Four. Zero. Nine. Look, even your neighbours are outside. Off you go, Mr. Cloud, you don't want to hold up the rest of the bus do you?"

"My house isn't pink."

"Oh… You sure you didn't get it painted while you were away, Mister?"

"No, I didn't… Aeleus, Sir?" The redhead glanced at Strife who was cautiously walking towards the pink monstrosity in front of him, "do you have any idea who did this?"

"No." Strife looked disappointed.

The silence stretched uncomfortably. Vanitas shifted slightly, hiding the several blotches of pink on his clothing behind Xion. Sighing, the blond walked over to the bed of flowers. The wind was offering a gentle breeze and the flowers' scent filled the air. The soil shifted slightly, but none of the bystanders noticed.

"Well, at least the flowers are nice… Reminds me of- Argh!"

"Sorry Strife."

"Riku, why are you apologizing to him? His expression was AWESOME." Riku glared at the boy behind him, "Manners, alright, alright, Ma. Sorry, Mr. Strife. Do you like your house? Kairi might like it. Did you have a contract for some sort of cancer organization? How much did you donate? If you have that much money, can you get me an ice cream?" The boy clambered out and the two children offered a hand for the aging Even.

"Uh... Not that I know of. What were you three doing down there?" Bright glowing eyes squinted with well placed suspicion.

"Strife, I must ask you to check the stability of the soil on your land. It's rather unstable." Even immediately took over the situation before Sora could open his talkative mouth. The two set off into a quiet banter about the situation, leaving Sora and Riku out of the conversation. Which was a good thing, as Sora was in his heroic manners mode.

Pouting, the boy turned onto his brother and the girl. "Vanitas, how could you leave me down there? I could have died!"

"You are out now, aren't you?" An argument ensued between the bothers as Xion and Riku failed to keep it under control. Amused, Aeleus wandered over to the van that had dropped off the unfortunate blond. The remaining occupants were trying to look nonchalant or were snickering at Cloud's 'unique' day.

The loudest hyena was sitting in the front seat, "Tidus."

"Uh...Hi, Is there anything wrong, Sir?"

"Just wondering why you haven't taken the rest of the men to their homes yet. How is the job and does it fit in your schedule?"

"Aww, well, I like this job and Mr. Luxord, didn't mind me having it on top of my school schedule. So, can I keep the job? I mean, everyone is having a blast when I'm driving. It's like an amusement park, EVERYBODY SCREAMS! Well, mainly Mr. Chocobo and a couple other peeps. Everybody else laughs at them."

Yellow spikes swung from Even to the bus driver, "Would you ever give me a break, Tidus?" The soldier scowled as the little brown haired brat shook his head in disagreement. Strife muttered something about having to repaint the place as he entered his house. Aeleus felt slightly guilty for making the man's day worse. Just slightly.

"Say, Mr. Ael, would you like to go for a ride some day?"

"Another day."

"Okay, Mister."

"Drop off the other men, and return home."

"YES SSIIIIIR!" The bus sped off with the rest of the unfortunate squadron. The children stopped arguing the minute they heard the blood curdling laughter and screaming. No bus should be able to accelerate that quickly, and the four were utterly amused by the recklessness of their fellow classmate.

"Hey, Vanitas, we should go for a ride when he comes back. Get Repliku too, I want to see his face when we turn a curve."

"That... I'll need to get a video camera for this, won't I? Xion, go get your brother." Xion offered Vanitas a sharp glare before stomping off, grumbling about how the elder children abused their authority on their younger siblings. "And we'll need helmets at thi- Hi Dad."

"Vanitas. Sora. Interesting choice for arts and crafts." Sephiroth tilted his head to the side and after a moment, he smirked. Riku cringed a little. Somewhere, perhaps in Disney Town, a kitten suffered a miserable and cold death. "It fits his personality."

"Isn't it awesome?" Sora clambered onto the silver haired man and was treating him like a distorted playground. "Hey, Daddy, is it time to eat?"

"Almost. I need you two to set up the guest room." Both boys turned their attention to their father. Even, Riku and Aeleus pitied the guest. The poor visitor will not be getting any rest tonight. "Vincent dropped by."

"GRAAANDPAA VINCENT!" Black and brown hair streaked across the road, leaving the three neighbours in confusion.

Even quirked up his eyebrow, "Sephiroth, I wasn't aware that Valentine was your father."

"He isn't." The scientist gave the specimen an odd glance, Aeleus just sighed and Riku offered the wide-eyed stare that children seemed to offer when they were confused. "I presume it is because he spoils them."

"So, he's more like a grandmother who bakes cookies and knits scarves?" Three pairs of eyes swung towards the boy. Riku gulped, "He's going to shoot me for that, isn't he?"

* * *

Xion and Repliku came running back out, bringing a message that their mother wanted to invite Aeleus, Riku and Sora's family to dinner. Sephiroth politely declined as he had a guest and two overly hyped teens, but Aeleus and Riku gladly accepted the offer.

And thus, our manly red-head and silver headed victims are now currently cutting cucumbers for a salad. Repliku is amazed that Riku hasn't destroyed the kitchen yet. Mrs. Frost walked over to the sink, surveying the work.

"Mrs. Frost, I'm sorry that I'm making such a mess."

The woman chuckled, "It's alright. Repliku had issues when he started cooking. Aeleus, Even said that there is a call for you." The tall man nodded and left the lady to teach the boy how to cook. Xion was currently absorbed into the task of creating the perfect pasta, so Repliku offered to take the man down to the lab.

"Did you cut your hair again?"

"Yeah," the short haired silver boy nodded. "Papa retrieved another sample..."

"How did you start balding anyways?"

"Sora and Vanitas."

Some things are just better left untold.

* * *

A/N: FFVII characters are fan-service. Honest. Besides that, they have plot relavence as do all the characters.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Complain about your job outside of your house, not inside!

* * *

Radiant Garden's military may not have the sanest units in the world, but they were loyal and deadly. The divisions are created by skill and weapon choice. The largest division is Weapons, which is separated into three main groups, long range, mid ranged and close combat. The second division are the Physical Science, more commonly known as mages, who work in unison with the third group and the science department. The last and smallest unofficial division fondly nicknamed 'Brother', as they keep a careful eye out on the affairs of the country.

_BRIIINNNNNGG_

Each division has one or two commanders who serve directly under the commands of King Ansem the Wise. Aeleus and Dilan, respectively, are the commanders of the close combat and mid ranged divisions.

_BRIIINNNNNGG_

The commander of long range division of the military is known as Braig. Unfortunately, said man is very impatient.

_BRIIINNNNNGG_

As a general rule, an idiot with lots of guns and ammo are always a bad thing to mix together. It is even worse to mix impatience into the fray of lovely dakka. "Dilan, would it kill him to turn on his PHS?"

The other man looked up from his book and immediately returned his attention to it.

"Oi, stop ignoring me. I didn't destroy it th- … Was that why Ael was chucking me across the training room?"

"He liked that phone model. Call Even, the two should be at their homes."

"You do it, Even is still mad at me for contaminating that stupid project of his." Grumbling, Dilan snatched the phone from the other man and dialled the number. Braig ignored it and continued, "Even doesn't need to come. We'll alert them if there are too many of us here. We'll get Aeleus to cover Ansem. Xehanort can take care of his sister. Shorty will be covering for us, and we'll deal with those fools."

"Tell the guards to take the night off. I want to avoid needless bloodshed."

"What? That's like painting a big WARNING sign saying, 'WELCOME. Please proceed. We are expecting you.' And what if we have some petty burglars?"

"... What do you suggest then? Oh, hello, Even."

"Dilan? What is the matter?"

"What? I'm not allowed to make a friendly call to my teammate?"

"Dilan, you are using Braig's PHS. Is something wrong? Did Braig finally find a way to shoot himself in the face?" Even sounded a bit too hopeful for Dilan's taste.

"No. There is an alert, and we'd rather err on the side of caution."

"Ah, am I needed?"

"Not at the moment, Ienzo is covering for your position. Can you get Aeleus, Braig fried his PHS." The other man offered his strange chuckle, prompting Dilan to pull the phone away from his ear. "Can you stop with that laugh? I swear that you, Ansem, Odine and that dead Hojo freak have the same laugh. It's not good for the moral of the troops."

"And neither is your sadistic sense of humor."

"Just get the man, Even." Dilan gave a quick little whistle as he waited for the other man. "Braig, go get Zoey. We need to start the preparations." Braig nodded and left the room as Aeleus finally made it to the phone.

"Dilan?"

"Took you long enough."

"What's wrong?"

"There is an alert. Your presence may be needed."

"When?"

"Next year, since I'm phoning you on your leave. What do you think?"

"I'll come over now."

"Thanks. Meet us in the antechamber to the throne room." After a confirmation from Aeleus, Dilan scrolled through Braig's contact list. Now which girlfriend should he troll?

* * *

Ansem the Wise wasn't very sure how he even got his title. Yes, he founded the schooling system for the public. Yes, he had several laboratories. Yes, Ansem had made many breakthroughs in technology and science. Yes, his father was the former king, but the man just felt that he is just another normal guy who wants the best for his family. Even if Ansem cannot protect the ones that have passed away, he would try his best to protect the one he has inherited, adopted and sired.

Just a simple man.

"Kairi, please summarize what we have discussed."

"A ruler must be able to accept sacrifices for the safety of the nation. A ruler is nothing without the people, and lastly, a ruler must always put the people before themselves." Ansem nodded, proud of his only blood child. "Papi, I know that I have been receiving training since Mother died, but why must I be crown heir? Why can't Ienzo deal with it?"

"Most people would kill to be able to rule. Why do you ask?"

"I wish that- I wish to be normal. Like the other children in schools. I don't like having to act in a proper manner, in this political web. I like my freedom as when I act as a commoner, when I can be with the people." The king didn't reply, merely walking over the window sill. Kairi fidgeted as the time ticked by, wishing that her father would respond to her question.

"Kairi. If I had a choice, I'd wish that you weren't born with the curse of royalty either. But if not us, then who shall deal with this nightmare? The next candidate, your brother, knows too much and is unable to sympathize with the people. Ienzo can most definitely maintain a reign, but the people would not be content. He is more suited for the military, even if he is the 'spare'."

"What about Xehanort?" Ansem sighed at the girl's desperate attempt to weasel out of responsibility. Not that anyone would blame her; Ansem himself had tried to do so in his youth.

"Xehanort is a stray pup, amnesic and a 'commoner'. The council will not accept his status. Who then, Kairi? You have your mother's disposition, you are just, kind and reasonable. I have worked against the old traditions and laws to allow for a female ruler. Your brothers will do anything to support you, and you know that." It was his daughter's turn to be silent, Ansem turned around to watch her reaction. He was not surprised to see Kairi torn between her duty and wishes. The king smirked and offered a small ray of hope, "That is not to say that you aren't allowed to wreak 'fun'."

"Like ignoring the council and going to school and be 'normal'?"

"Pretty much. Pissing them off is one of the perks of the job, especially when they want you to be their little puppet."

The quiet chuckling from Ansem was contagious and soon the two were laughing like fools. Nonetheless, the two missed the knocking from the door. The door began to rattle from the banging when the royals noticed the new presence.

"Come in." The irritated man entered the room with a curt bow. "Xehanort, I'm sorry for not hearing you earlier."

"Ansem, sir, that isn't an issue. There is an alert."

"Hahaha, who is it this time?"

"We believe that the infiltration is planned by the Empire. They have sent at least three members of the Aethelflaed." Kairi cringed when her newly adopted 'sibling' mentioned the elite soldiers of the Disney Empire.

"Aethelflaed?" A low whistle was offered, "Damn it, they mean business this time... Who are the lovely little ladies that are visiting this old man?"

"Reports say that we have 'Cinderella', 'Snow White', and a new Wonderland trainee that nears Miss Kairi's age. The status of unallocated members are being researched and classified."

"Thank-you. What are the arrangements for the counter measure?" Ansem wandered back to the table, offering the silver haired man some tea. "I'd prefer it if we had a lower casualty rate, but take one of the girls in for interrogation. This routine is getting rather tedious." The young man accepted the cup, but remained standing. Kairi just sighed. Adopted siblings are always so stiff.

"Sir. Aeleus is assigned to you-"

"Isn't he on his leave?"

"Yes, sir. We plan to lure them into the castle grounds to reduce the risk of civilian... interference. Aeleus and I are assigned to protect you and Miss Kairi as a precaution."

"What about Ienzo? And for the sake of my sanity, Xehanort, we are family. Did I deal with the council for no particular reason? Son, drop the formalities."

"Y-Yes Si-, Of course, Father."

"Better, now what about our youngest?"

"He's backing Braig and Dilan when they confront the invaders."

"Hn. Alright. What is the status of the council?"

"They will be guarded by the troops. Disney is after your and Kairi's heads. They will not be targeted, those politicians' lives aren't as... valuable in this game at this point of time. Father, it would be recommended that you and Kairi split, as it would split the resources of the Aetheflaed."

"Hm, very well. Xehanort, guard your sister. Aeleus will be coming with me." A nasty little smirk graced the king's face as Kairi began packing her items.

"Xehanort? Where will we be assigned?"

"We are to be in the secondary antechamber to your mother's former hall. Father, Dilan asked me to inform you that you and Aeleus will be in the throne room."

"No."

"Si- Father?"

"I have to sit in that room for at least thirty two hours every week with the rest of those greedy fools who won't shut up. Don't make me stay in that damned place longer than I have to. Besides, I wonder how Braig and Dilan would react if I acted as bait."

* * *

Vanitas glanced at the clock and returned his stare back to his father. Sora was trying to send SOS brainwaves to Vincent. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working. Gramp's expression is as blank as it was thirty minutes ago. The same pale slate. Freaking sadist.

"Vanitas. Sora. Bed. Now."

"Dad, its only 11:30! We already took a shower, brushed our teeth, blahdablahdeblah. An extra hour or two won't kill me or Sora."

"You two have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, we kno-"

"We have school tomorrow? Vanitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, why didn't you tell meeee? Kairi's going to bring lots of souvenirs again." Ohhh, look! Vincent was half-smirking! Sora had returned to his one-sided staring contest again, leaving his father and brother to argue it out.

"Bed. In five…"

* * *

Isabella of Dreams was better known as 'Cinderella', for her fondness of gunpowder and arson. The blond twenty three year old is the leader of this mission.

"Snow White, are the pills available? We will probably need them."

"For what, may I ask? I thought that we were just going in, kill the man and his heir and leave undetected." The woman's long black hair was shifting as she reached into her pouch.

"They know we are here, we cannot hide. The Hearts are known for their resilience. And dirty tactics. We will need the upper-hand to see the end to this mission."

'Snow White' is Aetheflaed's poison, effects and potions expert, the buffer and status inflictor, if you can call it that. The woman frowned when Cinderella refused to offer more information. "What will we expect?"

"I do not know, 'Alice' you have yet to report your findings."

The youngest scowled. 'Alice' was a far too common name, yet in the nobility of Wonderland it meant that the child had the exceptional luck and skills to be train as a spy, or as an assassin. "They are trying to keep the casualty rate low. Ansem is sending out the big guns. I only know that the commanders of each division will be waiting for us within the castle."

Cinderella smiled.

"Move out and take our positions. Let us meet our friend and his pet dogs."

* * *

Ansem was casually chatting with one of the newer guards, while Dilan twitched. The dragoon couldn't quite tell how Ienzo was doing but Braig was making his opinion loud and clear for the two. Dilan was glad that Braig was merely ranting in the transmitter and not in their faces. "How can he be so calm when there is an Aetheflaed squad after his head? Damn, Zoey, your dad is insane."

"Said trust merely shows that he knows that we will and are able to keep him safe."

"Said man should not cause ulcers for his men. Just because we are competent doesn't mean that there is no threat or danger." The one eyed man started pacing back and forth on his balcony, ignoring the fact that he was blowing his cover. Dilan groaned

"Braig, we are practically cheating here. Stop fretting like a schoolgirl before a dance. Oh, look, you are making Zoey cringe. Oi, Shorty, there you are, move over to the third apex, it is going to provide more cover."

"Okay…" The small shadow slinked across the roof before the child spoke again. "Braig. Move to the left."

"Crap. They are already here, aren't they?"

"Well, there are three females heading straight here."

Well.

That seemed positive.

Braig will have to add several more strands of gray hair to his collection tomorrow morning.

* * *

"Four…"

"One more round on the network! Everybody is still up and playing! Look, RIKU is still on." At the mention of his best friend, Sora spun around and offered his best puppy face. Sephiroth frowned.

"Two."

"You skipped three!"

Vincent smirk widened. Freaking sadist.

* * *

Dilan cut off transmission, leaving the two older men in the dark. It was a pity that Ienzo had not managed to advance his illusionary sensory technique. The sensor had great range but the system required too much fine tuning and magical stamina to use for the classical soldier or spy. It is not a problem as the boy can telepathically inform anyone of a dire situation. Or set up a communication network, but that can get rather annoying especially when Braig or another soldier starts fantasizing about his latest girl.

Aetheflaed was not a group that you can overkill. Disney's nobility was bred to be the elite, males are sent to boost the commanding ranks and the girls to the assassination squads called Aetheflaed. Enemies of the Empire were quickly slaughtered unless they have set up counter measures to the tyke bombs. Military strength was one way, but it was bloody and used far too much resources.

Not that it'd be a problem. Not when there was a much simpler method of control.

Those girls were just waltzing into a room drenched in gas with lit matches.

Cheating.

That would be the best way to describe it. The Heart military was brilliant at 'cheating', but you got to what you have to do, right?

* * *

"Last warning, get to bed, you brats."

Vanitas and Sora stubbornly glared at their father, not even bothering to inching towards their rooms. Vincent was contemplating if he should get some popcorn.

"One…"

* * *

A long and sleek gun was hidden in the shadows. Alice was muttering the coordinates of the crown heir in Cinderella's ear piece.

"Alice. Take care of the princess. Snow White and I will be able to deal with the two commanders and the lordling. Communication blackout will commence after confirmation."

"Yes, ma'am." The petite child's shadow disappeared as Cinderella aimed and fired.

* * *

"Zero."

* * *

Radiant Garden breathed in and out as one being.

And all hell broke loose.

* * *

A/N: An explanation about why the fuck is _Sephiroth_ in charge of the brats will be coming in the near future. Right now? Just treat it like crack like how Sora is COMPLETELY out of character. Explanations are coming. Unfortunately, they will be coming later.

Thanks for reading!


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